The New York Posts – Life in New York for a Veteran and a Virgin

Megan Fox, please stop pestering Laszlo. He's so not interested in you. Or that incredibly hot outfit you are wearing. Or your interesting hair tumbling like an ebony waterfall over your sleek alabaster shoulders, which could have been carved by a goddess.

So it’s been far too long since we’ve posted in our blog. Stop hounding us, would ya? That means you, Megan Fox. Laszlo is NOT interested.

Today’s post is brought to you by the letter O, as in “Ooops,” “Ooork,” Omygod I’m dying,” and “Oh god why did I order the duck?”

“How about as in Orgasm?” asks Laszlo.

“How about I puke on your sheets next time,” answers Lala.

Even they were stunned by what horrors were in Lala's stomach.

Yes, faithful readers: food poisoning once again struck down Lala (leaving Laszlo unaffected, peaceful, and snoring slightly on his side of the bed). Lala felt that moths with Ginzu knife-blade wings were having a rave inside her cranium.  Meanwhile tiny, disgusting, virulent evil spirits were burrowing through her lower intestine.

It was a night to be forgotten. We cannot blame the gorgeous tapas restaurant in Chelsea for this horror, as no one else in our party (ahem, Laszlo, you jerk with your non-headaches and peaceful, vomitless slumber) got sick.




Prequel to “O” Night

Above: Prime destination for art and marriage. The Salmagundi Club on 5th Avenue

The evening began innocently enough when Lala’s sister, Panda 1, and her husband-to-be the Mayor (because he knows everyone, including you) met us at the Salmagundi where they are to be wed in coming months. The wine did flow. The art was charming and included some killer sheep portraits. Seriously.

One should, if one is in New York for a few days around March 2, visit this 5th avenue private art club for an open auction. Spend money and tell event-guru and manager Dag (who is a Costa Rican by birth) that Lala and Panda 1 sent you. Maybe we’ll get free drinks.

Laszlo seemed to enjoy himself, but as Lala drank three glasses of uninteresting vino in quick succession, she has been deemed ipso-post-facto “unworthy of testimony.”

Does anyone have any suggestions for cool flower arrangements for spring — something with a purplish flower in it?  Excellent. Also, could you buy them for us? St. Barthelemy really wiped us out financially. Hee hee.

SIDE NOTE: We are happy to report that no evil mountain people from old families in St. Bart have yet tracked us down and killed us for invading their private land.  See our old posts for more info on that…

wait… I just thought of something… perhaps the mountain people are responsible for my terrible food poisoning? Sure… let’s blame them. Them or the 1%…

Why on earth do you think we're planning a funeral, sir? We are planning a wedding, a glorious joining of two young hearts.








2 thoughts on “The New York Posts – Life in New York for a Veteran and a Virgin

  1. Food poisoning? You poor dear!! Yes, blame the damn 1%!!!!!

    Lovely pictures….Meghan Fox, hot, temptress, tattooed- idiot. Of course no one can usurp your power over Laslo—no one! It’s the power of love that I am referring to. 🙂

    Have fun planning the wedding. Purple flowers, hmm—-I do love purple irises, mix those with something white, like white calla lilies, oh so pretty and elegant! I hear the wedding bells!! Will I hear the wedding bell toll for you and Laszlo? Ring-a-ding-ding! Ding. Crack. Oops. I love you Lala!!!

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