Snorkle is another word for nausea

Don't think about sharks. Don't think about sharks. Don't think about sharks.

Yes, faithful readers — once again the weekend got in the way of posts. What is it about Sundays? Douglas Adams had it right when he called these times of uselessness “the long, dark teatime of the soul.” And yes, we are back again. So now that our teatime is through, yours can begin with us, Lala and Laszlo, your ushers.

Anyone who mentions sharks and ruins this for me gets thrown off the boat. To the sharks.

A totally useless Trumpet Fish. No defense against sharks at all.

Our story continues thus… a couple days ago Laszlo and Lala went snorkeling on the Blue Cat. Hosted by one lovely fellow originally from Strasbourg and another originally from St. Barth‘s, we mounted the blue seas, suppressing visions of shark attacks and wishing for Dramamine.

Sea Turtles do not like to be ridden, no matter what you hear.

Upon arrival at our snorkeling destination on the heaving Barthelemy seas, Lala and Laszlo were zipped into wet suits. Lala, who tends to present as skinnier than she is, from, er… the front view, was stuck halfway in and halfway out of a size small wetsuit. It was only when her rear was stuck at the zipper and refused to get into the suit that the charming Skipper said, “Ah, perhaps it is too small, no?” Damn it, said Lala, who was starting to feel the waves in the form of a hot flash and sweaty temples. Nevertheless, she sucked it all in and zipped it up. whew.

A shark. Since you brought it up.

Then the St. Barth’s man explained that sharks exist but they don’t kill that many people, and hey, we are in their territory anyway. Also he showed us pictures of trumpet fish, which have never once in history been recorded as fighting off sharks from innocent snorkelers, so were of no interest to Lala.

In any event, we had fun and I learned that if you have to throw up in the ocean, it’s best have eaten nothing but Haribo Gummy Bananas.

Our snorkeling experience was just like this... but with more vomiting.

Helpfully chumming the waters for our fellow divers.


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